Can you hear him whisper? He's talking to death
by lokiatbakerstreet
Summary: After all he has done, Loki finally gets his punishment: he's banished to Jotunheim. But Thor wants his little brother back, and he wants him alive. Warning for suicidal thoughts


_Can you hear him whisper? He is talking to death _

The wind blew snowflakes in his face as he walked through the damaged remains of what has been Jotunheim. He didn't feel the cold. He walked on and on, looking for a place to stay or someone to talk to, something that would give him hope.

The night after the trial, two guards had brought him here and left him on his own, banished to the place where he belonged with his magic blocked. They were home before the sun rose and life in Asgard went on as if nothing had happened. Not for Loki. He had feared the frost giants would lock him up, torture him, kill him in the cruelest way he could imagine. And they sneaked up on him, watched him, he could see their red eyes glowing in the dark. But they never showed themselves, never dared to touch him. He could hear their voices though, shrill and echoing, repeating themselves again and again, laughing at him.

_Look at him, the fallen prince, all alone now – alone – alone – alone_

He tried to get by with his punishment, to find a way to live or at least stand trough the days, still hoping he would be allowed to come back one day. The nights were cold, incredibly cold; the longer he stayed, the harder it was to ignore it. _Little frost giant is cold – cold – cold, can you see? Only half of a frost giant – only half- only half – only half asgardian – only half of a prince? _And the voices, they would never stop, whispering again and again the things he didn't want to hear _never enough – never enough – never enough _The red eyes stared at him out of the dark. This is a nightmare, he said to himself, just a nightmare. _No, this is real - god of mischief can't control the chaos anymore – this is real – real – real_

And as the days and nights passed it became clearer and clearer to him. There was no way to get by with this, no hope. There was only one thing he could do. Wait. _What is he waiting for? Nobody will come to rescue him – nobody – nobody – nobody... _Loki stopped trying. There was never enough to eat, no way to keep himself warm, no way to keep himself sane. The god of mischief was tired. He lay down in the snow and stared back at the red eyes. _He is waiting for death – death – death – death – death_

"I'm glad you came, my king. I hoped you would ask me that question." Thor was standing next to Heimdall on the damaged rainbow bridge. His heart grew heavy as he heard the worry in his voice. "So you can see him? ... how is he doing?". There was a short silence. When he chose the punishment, their father had hoped that the frost giants would accept Loki as one of them and he could have an acceptable life outside a prison cell in Jotunheim."I know you have no power to say something against the judgement of the allfather, but... Listen to me, if you want your brother back, and you want him alive, you have to do something. Now." That was the night Thor packed his bags and disappeared.

_Is he still alive? Yes, he is breathing – breathing – breathing – shallow breathes – in and out. Can you hear him whisper? He's talking to death, pleading him to come and get him – get him – get him _The cold crawled into his body, slowly but steadily. Every breath was exhausting, every heartbeat an effort. Loki was tired. He wanted to go. His eyes were closed but he felt the frost giants still staring at him, watching him passing away. Slowly but steadily.

_Why does he want to die? Because he's worthless – a failure – insane – unloved – never enough – alone – alone – alone. Look at him, little monster is dying – little monster – monster – monster _

Thor pushed his horse to run faster. He had to find him, had to safe him before it was too late. It was deadly silent in Jotunheim. Nobody crossed his way, but he could see red eyes glowing in the dark, staring at him. Watching him.

_Open your eyes, little monster, open your eyes – open your eyes. You have a visitor _Loki didn't believe them. His eyes remained closed. He was too weak, he couldn't stand their gaze anymore. _A visitor – open your eyes – open your eyes _

"Loki!", Thor got off his horse and ran. His brother was lying on the floor, curled up on one side, covered in snow and his skin shimmering blue. He fell to his knees next to him. "Brother", he whispered, "It's me, I'm here to bring you home." But there was no reaction, his brother's body limp in his arms, and his whispering turned into a desperate scream: "Loki, Loki! Talk to me, open your eyes!"

_open your eyes – open your eyes – open your eyes – open your eyes _

"Stop it.", Loki whispered, "Stop it, stop it, stop it.", he screamed at the voices. His eyes snapped open.The first thing he saw was his brothers face, and the tears drying on his cheeks. "You're alive". Loki stared at him in disbelief. "We are going home, Loki. You will be alright, everything will be fine." _Fine? Monsters can not be fine, can they? No, they have to die, monsters have to die – die – die _

"No, listen to them. They are right, Thor. The voices, they are right. I'm a monster, monsters can't be..." Thor looked at his brother worriedly. "Loki, which voices are you talking about? It's deadly silent here." _monsters have to die – monsters have to die – monsters have to die – _It echoed in his head, again and again. They were right, weren't they?

Thor stood up, his wretched little brother in his arms. "Monsters can't be fine... they have to die, Thor, they have to..." he continued absentminded. "You are not a monster, Loki. You are my little brother. I promised you that I will always protect you, remember? All the things you did will never change that. I'm there for you, you'll be fine. I'll bring you home."

"Is it madness, is it?" This made me question my own sanity...

Well, let me know what you think of it ;)


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